I am so incredibly undeserving of all the things I’m fortunate enough to have. Thank you God, or Life, or whatever cosmic force is out there for everything.

My family gives me so much and loves me so much and I am just complete and utter shit. I really need to try harder, it’s the least they deserve. I make myself angry. And my only true friend puts up with so much of my shit, I don’t know how she’s still around. I’m such an asshole to my sister. Even my ex was awesome and I fucked him up at some point. I fuck stuff up so much, it’s time for some change. I say that all the time but I think I mean it now. I’m 18, I really need to start growing up at least a little and start taking responsibility for my stupidity. Start doing better, more positive things. I’m gonna be moving out in a couple months probably and I just want to end things right, to do things right again.

As to why the hell I am posting this publicly, I have no clue. Internet catharsis I suppose. I don’t give a shit, this is my blog anyway.